Don't e-Annoy Me, It's a Federal Crime!

I know I feel more secure now. The U.S. Congress passed, and President Bush signed, a law that makes it a federal crime to post messages on the Internet that are annoying, if you do so anonymously.

Buried deep within the Department of Justice Reauthorization Act, in the Violence Against Women section, are criminal penalties of up to two years in prison for posting annoying messages on web sites or sending annoying email messages. The section reads:

"Whoever utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person... who receives the communications... shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

According to Declan McCullagh of C-Net, Sen. Arlen Specter and the section's other sponsors "slipped it into an unrelated, must-pass bill to fund the Department of Justice to make it politically infeasible for politicians to oppose the measure." The bill passed in the House of Representatives by voice vote, and the Senate unanimously approved it Dec. 16. President Bush signed the law Jan. 5.

The problem, the law's detractors claim, is the word "annoy," Who will decide what is criminally annoying? An earlier version of the bill, which is actually designed to stop cyberstalking of women on the Internet, made it a criminal act to use of the Internet to cause someone "substantial emotional harm" anonymously. The new version goes way beyond that threshold.

There is one other small problem with the new law: it probably violates the free speech rights of all Americans guaranteed under the First Amendment and will be declared unconstitutional if someone actually tries to enforce the thing.

Looking on the Bright Side

But until those pesky free speech radicals challenge it and the courts strike down the new law, I plan to take full advantage of its provisions.

Just think, I will no longer have to put up with those annoying emails that inform me that the second mortgage on my house, that I never applied for, has been approved! Nor will I have to hear that I can find a date tonight in my area or that certain parts of my anatomy need enhancing.

Also, if that Buddy T guy over on the About Alcoholism / Substance Abuse site ever writes anything that annoys me, he's in big trouble. Of course, I haven't exactly figured out how I would report him; after all, he's anonymous. I'll let the Annoyance Police figure it out.

And one other thing, if you disagree with me, don't mention it. That annoys me too. At least have the guts to sign your own name to it. If not, I'm calling the feds!

See Also:
Create an e-Annoyance, Go to Jail